Whatever Happened To Leopard Man?

Back when I was sixteen years old I was a regular climber at "The Front" gym in South Salt Lake. The Front's patrons were an amalgamation of squeaky clean Mormons, super mellow potheads, gothic social outcasts, and just about anyone in between. This being the case, I got to climb with some really interesting people. There was Devon, an emo/semi-goth who loved animae, slurpees, and listening to the Gorillaz. There was Josh, a 17 year old literal hunchback, who was strong as an ox, had huge dreads, and would drink Coke and Vodka from a two liter bottle. And then there was Leopard Man.

Leopard Man was tattooed from head to toe with green tinged leopard spots. When I say head to toe I mean head to toe- There wasn't an inch on his exposed body that wasn't made to look like a bizarrely colored predator. It didn't stop with the skin, either. He had each of his canine teeth extended so that his mouth replicated that of a wild cat.

The funny thing was that Leopard Man acted nothing like what you'd expect a Leopard Man to act like. To be fair, I am guessing very few people have a predisposition for what a Leopard Man should act like. Clearly anyone willing to undergo hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars of physical alteration to look like a murky green jungle cat is someone who goes beyond the pale of most of our understanding. Even so, I think it is fair to say few would expect the pleasant, soft spoken, encouraging, and slightly bashful person that Leopard Man turned out to be.

Leopard Man just so happened to climb right at my ability level and almost by accident, we started climbing together. It turned out Leopard Man was a lot of fun to climb with. He was always in a good mood, loved giving beta (climber jargon for advice), and I really liked the fact that he was a Leopard Man. If you are into juxtaposition, I think you can also appreciate the visual of a squeaky clean, short haired, pierce-less tattoo-less, pre-LDS missionary swapping stories and advice with a Leopard Man. We must have looked so strange to anyone who walked into the gym.

Unfortunately, Leopard Man's and my friendship was short lived. Shortly after I started climbing with Leopard Man, I got a job working at a climbing gym close to my home. I stopped frequenting The Front, and lost track of Leopard Man all together.

Why am I posting this blog? Just this last week I started wondering about Leopard Man. I wondered what happened to him. Who does Leopard Man hang out with? Does he have a Leopard girlfriend, or even Leopard kids? What does Leopard Man do for work? Does he have a serious job and wear a suit? Does a recession affect Leopard Man harder than the rest of us? I don't know the answers to these questions, but it'd sure be fun to see what happened to the guy. So if you come across this blog, Leopard Man, shoot me a line, and maybe we can get a day of climbing in for old time's sake.